When I came to Hope in February of 2014 I was alone, desperate and depressed. I suffer from major reoccurring depression. I was receiving disability for that, but all my money went to my crack addiction. I had no hope, and believed there was no light at the end of the tunnel.
At 51 years old, I’ve been in a lot of treatment centers, and I’m tired of starting over. In my past, there were no victories to celebrate. In my active addiction, I buried over 30 people that I used to associate with. It is only by the grace of God that I am even here. I had to get honest about my addiction. I had to admit defeat. I had allowed the addiction to destroy my life and everything God had blessed me with.
I have two children ages 14 and 24 that I didn’t raise as a direct result of drug addiction and untreated depression. There is pain there, but I know God has forgiven me for the choices I have made. He has put people in my life who have been able to be what I cannot for my children.
If God has forgiven me, who am I to not forgive myself and move on. I don’t want me to be stuck in that dark place. My God wants me to walk in the light and to shine. He wants me to be clean, sober, and mentally healthy so I can glorify him.
I love the structure at Hope along with the spiritual emphasis and core classes. My favorite class was Twisted Thinking because I realized how the enemy had held me captive to lies I believed about myself, others, and the world around me. I had fallen into the lie that I couldn’t change –that I couldn’t be forgiven and rebuild my life. I’ve learned to care about myself. I’ve learned to be vulnerable and ask for help. I’ve started sharing about my past and my trials and experiences.
The structure here has helped me maintain my mental health. I go to my therapy sessions when I’m supposed to and have utilized the counseling services here at Hope along with substance abuse classes and support groups. All these resources have worked together to help me be a healthy person and they are right here under this roof. All these things together are making me a new person!
Since being here I completed a Medical Billing and Coding Certification Program through Work One. I am currently searching and interviewing for positions, and hope to soon be working in the medical billing field.
I am still a work in progress. Coming here to Hope really changed my life. The name is fitting –Hope Ministries – because before I came here I was totally hopeless and now I am very hopeful.